Life continues to unfold before my very eyes. I find myself in deep though some days looking at all my life has become in such a short time. Just 15 years ago or so I thought there was no future for me that included anything good. I saw no reason to continue to live in a world I felt was set up to punish me over and over for some unknown offense I'd committed. I felt I would never be "enough" for anyone or anything. Then, like someone waved a magic wand, I fell in love--really fell in love....with a real man. Building a relationship with Kevin woke me up and helped me to see life in a whole new light. Then when we began to plan for a family and had trouble, again I felt that I was being punished for something. Again, like magic, we were blessed with the most beautiful baby boy ever. Of course, this "magic" was God setting his plans into action. Watching Blake grow showed me there is so much more to life than I ever knew possible. I thank God every day for bringing him into our lives and I recognize that I do not deserve the many blessings God has given to me but am so very thankful for each and every one.
Just short of two years later, again we were blessed. This time with the most precious baby girl, a dream come true for the whole Jones family. Kara, like her brother shows us each and every day that life is so much bigger than us. Watching Blake interact with and protect her gives me hope for this crazy world we live in. I have to trust that God has a beautiful plan for their lives in spite of what the future looks like for our world. I know they will struggle along the way and that God will be there to guide and protect them the way that Blake watches over his little sister.
My job is also a blessing from Heaven. God has always provided when I needed a new challenge or something to uplift my spirits and refuel my fire for education. He provided a school and county change just when I needed it and later grade level changes at just the right moment. Now he has provided me an opportunity to do intensive reading tutoring with grades 2-5 as a Title I teacher. I am learning so much about myself and about education. I am also seeing "behind the curtain" to see how things really work. As a classroom teacher, it was easy to sometimes scoff at the "specialists" thinking they had so much time to lounge around and that their jobs were "cake." I now know how wrong those assumptions were and have a new respect for other positions that I may have had a false understanding of. I try to remind myself that nothing usually is as it seems and that the grass truly is NOT always greener on the other side. Every job has it's pros and cons. It isn't so much that one is easier than another as that they are just "different." They each present their own challenge. Now God has presented a new challenge and experience in my career through the library media endorsement program. I love being a student again but wish I had more time to devote to all these things I love: husband, kids, family, friends, job, and school.
As the holidays approach, so do the kids birthdays. I can't wait to see Kara at her first birthday party and Blake turn three. He's so incredibly smart already that it scares me. He teaches me so much about learning and the capabilities of such a young mind. Imagine if you could capitalize on this time in all children's lives so they maximize their learning potential.
I am looking forward to spending the holidays with my family and the much needed time off from work to just be a mommy and a wife for a bit.
God continues to bless me each day with a chance to be the best I can be. I often fail but again he gives me another sun rise to try and try again. I can't wait to see what else God has in store for my life!
